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Do you know what's on my mind? Facebook's asking me, and I don't know what to tell it.

On facebook chat (moments later):

But I'M emotionally stable.
...
jk

On facebook chat:

God, we're all so emotionally repressed at <insert college>. It's like I fit in.

I feel a mental disconnect at many parties

I will find myself staring at the bodies moving across the floor, and I will think of them as "them." They are having a party. I am not. I am instead considering the patterns the various strobe lights make and trying to calculate the frequency with which they repeat. Or I might try to see the people moving as successive still frames. Perhaps I am considering my homework or how lonely I feel.

In fact, I am writing this at a party instead of dancing. Maybe I shouldn't have brought my computer....

It's always been my theory:

if you're too busy to stop and think about things, you're too busy to be depressed.

Life's like a box of chocolates...

I always get coconut.

Conversation: "It's a Small World"

Terrance (interjecting): "That's also the name of a board game - that no one except me has ever heard of...."

At call

Person: I have to get dressed guys. You can't keep having these problems.

Terrance: Yeah! You should ignore them like I do!

I have too many things in my life

A girl isn't one of them.

Sometimes I say something like:

So, who do you think is the ugliest person on campus? Besides me, I mean.

Costumes

(Looking down at myself): Wow, either this shirt is horribly deformed, or my torso is.

Shakin' It

Terrance: What do you mean you can't shake babies? ... Man, all that time I spent with a shake-weight preparing to be a father was just wasted.

A Letter to My Future Grandnieces and Grandnephews

If you are reading this, then I am dead and you have hit puberty. I hope that you never read this.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you what not to do with your lives, since I can't be there in person to tell you.

I want to stress this most - do not do what I did. There is a reason you don't have second-cousins on my side, and it has entirely to do with me. There was something in me that just wasn't fit in a Darwinian sense.

It was about halfway through college that I realized not only was I virgin, but I also had never been in a relationship and wouldn't know what to do if I ever happened to find myself in one. The problem, I think, was one of timing. I was always waiting for the right time to ask the right girl.

So here's the deal (and do not tell your grandfather I told you this - he's a nice kid): FUCK WAITING. Right now, today or tomorrow, but not the next day, go ask some boy or girl out (just for the record, I don't care one way or the other about your sexuality - do what feels right) even if you think they'll say no, even if you're not sure if they're "the one," even if you don't know if they are already in a relationship, even if the timing just isn't right, even if you feel like you need to get to know them better first (especially then, really). Just fucking do it. And then keep doing it.

Because if you keep waiting for the right moment, it'll never come.

Trust me, I know.

- Uncle Terrance

P.S. Please tell me they eventually restarted the government manned spaceflight program. Anyone who thinks private industry is going to be able or willing to get us to the stars is an idiot, even if the move away from manned spaceflight makes sense in the shorter term.

Spandex

Is not a material I should wear.

Horror Films

"Terrance, you would die second in a horror film. You'd find the first person, freak the fuck out, and then die."

After a Show

Terrance: Why are you guys still hanging around?

Someone (sarcastically): We're waiting for you.

Terrance (earnestly): No, that doesn't sound right.

At the end of my programming interview

the interviewer said, "It seems you are not very familiar with Java."

email to a list

<Person A> to list:
This very weekend, new members <Person B>  and myself will be performing in the <insert theatre company>'s production of <insert show>!!! 

LATER
<Person C> to same list:
And Terrance! Terrance is in it! Everybody go see Terrance!

Ah yes, Valentine's Day

My plan is to not get emotionally invested.

My Bio for a play

Terrance, despite his many flaws, dies beautifully.

I'm Holding a Contest

I want to see what is the most unromantic book and genre that can make me feel like crap about the amount of romance in my life.

The current winners: from the genre of dystopian science fiction:
We by Yevgeny Zamyatin
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

I celebrate getting cockblocked

It means that there might have been a possibility of something happening.

In my Dreams

I still don't get the girl.

I sort of enjoy being a smart-ass

Somehow I just never seem to do it.

Picture a Party

Any party. Okay, got it?

Now picture me curled up in the fetal position in a chair in a corner. 

Picture complete.

At Rehearsal

Someone: It's like we're all sexually attracted to Terrance.

Terrance: Psh. Like that'll ever happen.

Today

was a very happy day. I really don't have anything sad to say about it. I got lots of hugs from awesome people.

All I can say is that my smile muscles hurt. Maybe I don't use them enough.

Well, that was sort of sad. But not really.

At Dinner

Girl: The giggles cover up the sad.

Terrance: Hey! Can I quote that... for my blog?

Today in Class

Visiting Artist: Okay, so we're going to try and avoid tonality.

Terrance: I do that naturally.

Living Vicariously

I always warn people who try to live vicariously through me that they'll be disappointed.

The card I used to introduce myself

Name: Terrance

....

Fun Fact: All facts are fun...

I used to believe I could find my soul mate

Then I looked at the math.

I found it!

It took a little more than half a year, but I finally found it. The song that reminds me that I have less than zero chance of picking up girls who don't speak English primarily, no matter how attractive or intelligent they are.



(I'm little ashamed. I found it by googling "Oye oye oye song." I should've thought of that as soon as I started looking for it.)

*And now because of Universal Music Group, you're going to have to follow the link to youtube to watch it. Go figure. Or not. I'm honestly confused.

Apples to Apples

I put down the green card "Imaginary."

The decisive winner: My Love Life.

Too much truth.

Today on Facebook

Terrance (25 minutes ago)

SKYRIM IS AWESOME
It's just amazing
my hot girl character just became a werewolf
it was hot
...
I need a real girl character in my life, don't I?

Isn't it funny?

The more you get rejected, the less it hurts. Then it slowly becomes a dull background pain you can safely ignore.

Then you learn the lyrics to "Comfortably Numb."

Owner of a Lonely Heart

I was really disappointed when I look up the lyrics to "Owner of a Lonely Heart." The lyrics are all like - "You can do it. Just believe in yourself and go for it!"

I call bullshit.

Quotes

I love them. This one is for you, everyone:

I believe Art should mirror Life

That's why I never write a love story with a happy ending.

Coming Out

Today I asked my dad what his reaction would be if I came out as gay. He said he would be a little shocked.

Then he added that he wouldn't be at all surprised if I came out as awkward and shy