It was fall of my junior year of high school. I was preparing for Homecoming the way I had prepared for all school dances up to that point: worrying excessively, complaining loudly to my friends long after they stopped listening, coming up with alternate plans I would never follow through with (in retrospect, though, all-night Monopoly actually would have been worse than the dance), and definitely not asking a girl out.
While I was complaining one afternoon at lunch, one of my friends asked me to go with her. My immediate response was to start laughing - I'm not sure if it was because I thought it was a joke or because it caught me off-guard or because it just made me intensely uncomfortable. It slowly dawned on me, as she started looking really sad (did I mention that she's adorable?), that she had been serious. I apologized excessively before saying yes.
We more or less agreed to go as friends and not do any of the usual stuff - no mums, no football game. Then there came the question of going with a group. I don't remember exactly how or why, but we ended up in a group with my other friends - as in I knew almost everyone and she only knew me. While certainly not my only mistake, that was certainly the biggest one.
At dinner, she was sad and distant. Although I distinctly remember asking if she was okay, I mostly talked to my other friends. At the dance, we went and found some of our mutual friends. I danced badly, as is my wont. But mostly I remember the night as being straining and sad. Afterwards, several of our mutual friends accused me of being a horrible person. I agreed. I'm sure I apologized to her, but I'm not sure I could ever apologize enough. It would have been much better for everyone if I had just said no and spent the night watching CSI reruns.
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